Good Receipes Gone Bad (alternative Title: Cooking Disasters)

Today I'm going to post something a little different. Most of the recipes on this blog are posted after we have tested them and actually come up with a recipe that works. Admittedly, some of these things work out the first time we try them, others do not. We never show you the dirty side of being a true cook. We never talk about when things...well...just don't work out. I'll be the first to admit that I am much more of a baker than I am a cook. Don't get me wrong, I can pull together a great meal, but I bake and create works of sweetness with much more ease and comfort. I made perfect Chocolate Souffles the first time I tried, on a whim, one night, with nothing but a recipe from a chocolate cookbook I have on hand and some leftover chocolate. I'm always a little uneasy when I am cooking something for the first time, and I will NEVER cook something big for the first time for other people. I always try out my dishes first. For those of you that read my other blog (That Kind of Girl), the dish that I first made when Memphis came over, I tried out the night before. So yes, that means I bought enough for 2 separate versions of the dish, and yes, it means I actually had leftovers from my first attempt (which worked out quite well) in the fridge while I was cooking the second attempt for him. I even do this with new recipes because I've found, that sometimes, every once in a while, even if you follow a recipe to a tee, it just doesn't work out. This is what happened the other night and I thought I would share with you home cooks out there my disaster because I want you to all know, messing up is half the fun. And sometimes, messing up means creating a whole new piece of art in the kitchen. Other times it means throwing away a whole lot of food because things just did not work out. I realize, especially being on a budget, that can be a hard thing to face. And I have, on occasion (like with this attempt) ate it anyways. But never in a million years would have fed it to someone else.

A few days (weeks?) ago, I was at Shannon's house getting my fix of the Food Network (I am cable-tv-less and get my fix of cable tv at her house). Paula Dean in all her magic was on tv and was making this receipe for Squash and Zucchini Cakes and I thought that those looked like an awesome way for me to incorporate 2 vegetable that I could otherwise care less for into my life (you know the rule "fry it, therefore it is good"). Only I thought I could make it with a Chipotle Ranch dip...because Ranch makes everything better. Hey, I never said I was a healthy cook most of the time all of the time. One of the things that they don't tell you in the recipe is to squeeze the shredded squash and zucchini in between paper towels to remove a lot of the moisture before cooking. Paula did however mention this on the show. APPARENTLY I did not squeeze enough of the moisture out because my cakes did not look like hers (go look at the Food Network picture)....nope, mine looked like this:

Ok, so besides the greasiness factor, you can't really get the full affect of my 'cakes'. They looked kind of crispy on the outside, but no, they were a mushy mess that was barely held together by the egg/breadcrumb mixture you add. They did taste quite good, if you could get over the baby-food texture. And then I threw away the other half of the mixture because I couldn't face it. It was 11 pm and I was just eating my 'dinner'. And as a side note, the whole 'Chipotle Ranch dip" idea didn't work out so well either. I am going to attempt to make them again, but have decided to try baking them first to remove some of the moisture, then frying them for the crispiness factor.

However, I did manage to throw this together in about 5 minutes (with 20 minutes of cooking):

Summer Fruit Crisp with Flaxseed and Pecan Crust

So needless to say, THIS is what I really ate for dinner that night. And THIS is what my kitchen looked like at the end of the night:

Hey, I never said anything about being a tidy chef! My motto has always been "A messy kitchen is the sign of a successful meal" (even if it was only half true this night!).

Mozzarella Tomato chicken...or mushroom

First of all I totally spaced that I was taking pictures so there are a few gaps.

5- Pieces chicken flattened
7- Cloves garlic diced
4- Small tomatoes diced
Lots of fresh basil chopped
1.5 cups fresh mozzarella, 1 cup diced .5 cup sliced thin
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 Egg
Splash of milk
1/2 cup Panko bread crumbs (found in Japanese isle)
1/2 cup tomato sauce
Salt
Pepper
Cooking twine

Preheat oven to 475. In small bowl combine, garlic, tomato, basil, 1 cup mozzarella, balsamic, salt and pepper. Flatten chicken and fill with mixture. Roll up. Tie shut with twine. On two separate plates combine egg and milk and then the bread crumbs on the other. Roll chicken in egg and then bread crumbs. Place in baking dish and bake for 45 minutes. Remove and spoon tomato sauce over each one and top with remaining sliced cheese. Bake until cheese is brown and bubbly.

Finished product.

Vegetarian low cal style cooked in portabello minus bread crumbs.

If you use chicken breast it will be much easier to use a whole breast and just cut a pocket in the side. Since I had to de-bone thighs that is why I flattened it out. For a low calorie version measure your cheese and eliminate the bread crumbs. Also for gluten free eliminate the bread crumbs.

Egg salad toasties

8 eggs
Mayo
Dijon mustard
salt
pepper
Shredded Parmesan
White bread
Small lettuce cups

Boil eggs covered for 7 minutes. Turn off heat and leave covered for additional 10 minutes. Remove from heat, drain and allow eggs to cool in ice water bath or fridge.

1. In large bowl add peeled and chopped eggs
2. Add 3 Tbsp mayo (more if to dry)
3. Mix in 1 Tbsp dijon mustard
4. Season with salt and pepper to taste
5. Toast bread and cut off crust, cut diagonal to form triangles
6. Top toast triangles with egg salad
7. Fill lettuce cups with egg salad
8. Top both with Parmesan cheese

For cute seasonal toasts you can cut bread into shapes with cookie cutters. Allowing you to have hearts, leaves, or ghosts. Whatever your mind desires! After posting this my friend Shawna made it and asked me what I thought to serve with it. The first thing that came to mind was roasted rosemary potatoes (I will put recipe up today). The next thing I thought was for your friends who weren't vegetarian this dish would be delish with crumbled crispy bacon on the top! She tried it and said it was a hit. So there you have it. For the meat eaters in your life I vote toss some bacon on top !

Lettuce bites

5-6 smaller inside leaves of romain lettuce (usually the lighter color leaves)
Spreadable garlic and herb cheese (I prefer alouette)
Fresh shredded Parmesan
Sunflower seeds (roasted and shelled)
Diced olives
Any other veggie topper you want

1. Spread layer of cheese inside your lettuce cups
2. Add seeds, olives and Parmesan
3. Serve!

For parties another great thing I love to serve is egg salad on toasted bread. For the gluten free version I serve some of the egg salad in my little lettuce cups so that no one is left out!

Pasta with chicken and a garlic cream sauce

Serving size: 4 with a little bit of left overs
1 pack vermicelli noodles (the small spaghetti noodles like angel hair)
5 cloves garlic rough chopped (at least this many, depends on how much you like garlic, personally I use more)
4 chicken breasts (Think one per person you are serving)
1 cup milk or heavy cream
2-3 cups chicken broth
1- package mushrooms, washed and sliced
1/2 large white onion preferably vidalia
1 large jar marinated artichoke hearts drained
2-3 Tbsp butter
2-3 Tbsp flour
Salt
Pepper
olive oil
Fresh Parmesan cheese

1. Boil pasta in large pot.
   
2. While pasta boiling preheat large deep skillet to medium low.
3. Cube chicken to bite size pieces
4. Coat pan with olive oil and add chicken, salt and pepper
   
5. Cook until chicken is almost done
   
6. Dice onions, mushrooms and garlic and add in with chicken (you don't add it at the beginning or you will burn your garlic.)
7. Move chicken to the outside of the pan and add butter and flour to center of pan, whisk until butter/flour mixture turns the color of toasted bread or a light golden color, this creates a roux (pronounced roo)
   
8. Mix chicken into your roux and add in the first cup of chicken stock raising heat to medium high, stir until thickens. Sauce will be very thick
9. Whisk in second cup of stock, up to three until desired consistency.
10. Taste sauce at this point and add in more salt and pepper to taste. Heavy pepper is good in this dish.
    
11. Add in artichoke hearts, reduce heat to low and allow sauce to continue cooking and thickening.
12. At the very end add in your milk or cream starting with a half a cup first.
13. Drain pasta and add to sauce, coating pasta with chicken and cream sauce.
14. Top with Parmesan cheese and enjoy.

If sauce gets to thick it is better to add more stock then milk, as milk or cream will make the dish to rich and take away from the flavor of mushrooms, and artichokes. If your sauce is not thick enough turn up the heat and quickly whisk in more flour.

**If you have a gluten or wheat intolerance, you can make this same dish by mixing about 2 Tbsp of cornstarch in with 1/2 cup cold chicken stock and adding that in place of flour and butter. This will also cause your sauce to thicken just as well. Like the roux, if it isn't thick enough simply dissolve more cornstarch in chicken sauce and add in. Both of these need heat to activate.

** You can make this same recipe vegetarian, by eliminating the chicken and using vegetable broth. I use thick chunked portobello mushrooms in place of chicken for my recipe.