9.21.2007

Hey you, that new bride over there...before I can help you, there are some things you need to learn

This is important. There is a little known secret about men. THEY WILL NORMALY EAT ANYTHING YOU PUT IN FRONT OF THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE HUNGRY! This Means no matter how much they hate broccoli and chicken breast they will eat it. This also means that even if the loooove onions and you never use them, they will never tell you.

Things you need to ask your husband, along with asking them to give you an honest fucking answer!

  1. Do you prefer white or dark meat? This is actually important. The two meats are cooked a lot different. Dark meat can be cooked longer, and it tends to be juicier and work much better in crock pots or braised dishes. Chicken breasts tend to be better for stuffed chicken, although a thigh can be used, it takes a little more expertise to do so! This is also important because if you are serving the meat they like but you screw up the dish they will be more inclined to over look that since you at least got the meat right. I mean if they like dark meat and you served them a screwed up dish along with dry chicken breast, well now your just fucked.
  2. What vegetables do you actually like? If they don't like any FINE you can still cook them for yourself, you just need to make sure to make them their own side dish, ie a potato because all men like those right.
  3. How do you like your potatoes? My husband will ONLY eat mashed potatoes or fried potatoes (think french fries or breakfast potatoes) however he will only eat his fried potatoes crispy. This means that time I served him some yummy soft breakfast potatoes and he hated them, he still ate them but wasn't satisfied with the meal. Now I simply pull mine out first, turn up the heat and crisp the hell out of his.
  4. What foods do you really love? My husband loves loves loves tomatoes. I think he likes them as much as he likes sex. This first of all means, that I should know that every single sandwich I ever make him needs to have at least a whole entire tomato. Same goes with mayo. He loves garlic. This means that he will laugh at my chicken if I put two measly cloves of garlic in it. I may as well just throw in the whole fucking head and call it a day. Even if it is something you hate, you need to find a way to equate it into the meal. I hate shrimp, so when I make pasta I cook the whole dish, saute the shrimp in a second pan and then put his serving of pasta in the pan with the shrimp, toss it around getting it good and fishy and we are both happy!
  5. Are there things he cooks that he loves? My husband makes steak. It is his steak. EVERYOTHERSTEAK taste like shit to him. Every marinade I make will not be the same. If this is the case, STOP! DON'T TRY ANY MORE! Make it so one or two nights a week he cooks up his steak, pasta, dish whatever it is, and feels all manly and proud and you cook the sides. Then its a group effort, your doing something together and he gets to walk around strutting his stuff like a peacock because he made you the best damn steak ever!
  6. Find out what kind of cheese he likes. My husband only eats white cheese and nothing with mold and no feta and for the love of gosh ricotta makes him ill. This means on Mexican food I can only use mozzarella, that if I try and stuff his chicken with Feta I will find the stuffing hidden in his napkin and oh gosh if I serve him pasta with ricotta I had better just run. But now I know, I keep the stuff he likes in the house and I'm like hes personal kitchen champion!
  7. Find out how he likes his meat cooked. My husband prefers his chicken a little pink. It is good to know this because I prefer it cooked until it hardly resembles chicken. This works nicely so I know that whatever I make, at least I cooked the damn chicken right.
  8. Find a few go to quick meal items. My husband is addicted to this sandwich and this quesidilla. They are both quick meals and they are both easy meals to keep the ingredients on hand. I always always always have chicken, onion, tortillas, garlic and green sauce on hand ALWAYS. That means if I wake up and think shit I have no food, I know I can at least make those and he will think he is getting a treat. Same with the sammies. I always have that stuff on hand.
  9. Keep a journal. I went to target and bought a little notepad about 5-7 and I keep it on my counter. Each time I make him something new I jot down the recipe and his response to it. That means that if I'm ever sitting there stumped one night I can pull out that note pad flip a few pages and find something he likes
  10. Be open to criticism. Talk to him right now and tell him, Look I want to make an effort to start cooking for oyu, but you have to promise to be honest with me. At the end of the meal ask him how he liked it. Tell him to be truthful. Was there something he didn't like or something he would like more of? For instance I made some chipotle chicken on night for my husband, the recipe called for carrots and celery. That night when I asked him he said the meal was terrific but he would rather if I left out the carrots next time. So I walked over to my notepad, scratched off the carrots and called it a day. This means you have to learn to take criticism but making him happy is worth a few hurt feelings.
  11. Find out about seasoning. My husband loves salt. He also loves garlic salt. He also believes the more pepper the better. In the beginning I seasoned things for my taste and then I realized he found them bland. It was easier for me to adjust to a little more pepper or salt then for him to eat a bland meal or sit there dousing it in pepper at the table crushing my heart as he did that.
  12. Get creative. There is nothing wrong with breakfast for dinner, as long as you know how he likes his eggs and if he likes crisp bacon or wiggly bacon. Sometimes changing it up like that is fun.
  13. Finally learn to cheat. You can make a lot of really simple meals taste extra good by adding to them. Buying jarred pasta sauce is fine. I always cut up two or three tomatoes and stir those in towards the end of cooking and I always stir in some mushrooms too. If I add beef I make sure to saute the beef with lots of onions, garlic and pepper before I stir it into the sauce. That makes a really simple store bought meal have more of a home cooked feel to it.
  14. Let him have some input. In the beginning I would sit down with my husband and say here are the things I'm thinking of trying. What do you think? And he would answer me honestly. This is helpful.
  15. Finally, remember that practice makes perfect. You are going to mess up, but he will appreciate it a thousand times more that you tried to cook and messed up.
The last thing you need to remember to do is come here and check out our recipes. While some of them may seem scary we really really try and only post things that are easy to make for people who are just learning. You can even bring him to the site, show him some of the recipes and see what he thinks. Lastly you can ask him all of this, get his responses and come back and tell us and we will help you create meals he will love! Remember marriage is all about communication, even if your just communicating about food!

1 comment:

Jennie said...

I'm bookmarking this entry! Thank you for thinking of newly-married (and in desperate need of a little assistance) women.

Seriously, thank you.